Love??

• Love? What do people mean by this word? Was it to hurt our feeling or comfort us with it ? Do they know the truth of this word? Well, I do. Tonight, I stand here under a moonlight. Stars enlighted my darkness. Wind flew it breeze that wrapped my lifeless figure. Song of lonely heard as it makes my feeling even more. In front of me, she said the beautiful words. In front of me, her tears flowed down her cheek. In front of me, she craved her smile. And also in front of me, she turned around and left me lying down. There’s no meaning with ‘love’, it nothing but only suffer. Will there any happiness?

Adlina, the woman once shaked my heart. Her white fair skin with blonde hair still in my eyes. Her cheek like a tomato with angelic face accompanied my night. Her beauty left me with no words to spare. She’s my life and filled my soul once.

“Hey, were you dreaming?” suddenly Alin voice broke into my dream.

“No, I am just planning for our future, dear” I answered.

“How could you plan without my knowledge? How dare you,” she continued with warmth in her tone.

“I was joking. I thought about our first meeting long ago,” I tried to comfort her.
“Yeah, right! By the way, have you eaten this lunch?” she asked.

“Not yet, would you like to go with me?”I continued as she said.

“Sure, why not. Anything for my beloved, even a star I am willing to get it for you,” she said jokingly.

14th April, and that was the day I remembered most. Witnessed by the moon and thousand of stars, she engraved her love forever. Day onward, I was not alone anymore as she always there by my side. Her words supported me and her presence swept my loneliness. I was so happy to be with her.

“Hey, I will wait for you after kuliah. Just don’t be late, dear” she said as we separated for our own path.

“Ah, not again! Okay, I will be there,” she looked so happy and walked for her class.

“I love you, dear..” I thought in my mind. Then I walked to the Faculty of Engineering.

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“Okay, guys. I thinks that’s all for today. We continued our lessons on the next class,” said Madame Juliana softly as the time is over. Oh man, finally. I had waited this time for so long because I manage to see her again after this. I packed my things up and make my move to ‘that’ place ( don’t know where she wants to see me ). Tick tock tick tock, time is running out. But I still can’t see her figure yet. “ Maybe Alin forget about this,” I thought in my mind. I tried to search for her every place that I know. But still cannot find her. I searched for a little more, then I found her at the park, sitting o the bench.


“ You were late. I thought I had warned you to be early just now,” anger in her tone.

“ I am sorry. I thought you will wait at the kuliah because you don’t even mention the venue,” I tried to defend myself. Her face turned blushing, embarrassed.

“ Oh sorry. I forgot to tell you. No wonder you were late,” she said. Sweat down through my body, I were exhausted.

“No sorry, unless you ready to be punished,” I sulked.

“ What? You didn’t mean it, right? Okay, then tell me what I need to do ?” she asked.

“Well, you have to say ‘ I love you’ to me until we reached my car. Can you ,dear ?”I said.

“ Okay,as your wish.” Then she started to say those words. I love you, I love you, I love you and I am so happy to hear it.

“ I will be in front of your house tonight at 8 p.m. don’t be late this time,” I texting her.

“Okay,I will be waiting for you.” I took a bath, wore some fine clothes and prepared my appearance. I flashed down the stairs and took my car key.

“Where you want to go, son?” my mother asked.

“Erm, bring your daughter-in-law, mom. Just wait for her, okay.” She shocked, but then smiled with beautiful smile. I drove my car to her house.

“ You were stunning tonight. Even the flowers sad and jealous as you walked pass them,” I said jokingly.

“Of course, going out with you, right? I took an hour for me to be like this,” she continued. Then, I drove to the promised place that I planned.

“This is for you, dear.” I showed the place to her. She was speechless. There is one table with two seats. The moon lighted the place and the stars decorated it. Breeze from the lake evoked the emotion and the candle at the centre of the table like calling for us. It was perfect for her. As we walked there, I asked her “ are you okay or you don’t like it?”.


She tried to find her voice again and said “ No, it’s fantastic, dear. thank you for this. I appreciate it so much.” She sat in front of me. We talked, have our meal and enjoyed our night. After that, I asked her for a dance. She rejected at first but I kept asking until she’s on her feet.


“Can I have a dance?” I asked her. She, with blushing face took my hand and once in my embrace. Our step smooth and fairly synchronized with the song. At the end of the song, I knell in front of her and took her hand in mine.

“Alin, will you marry me?”” I proposed her. She stunned, breathless. Her tomato-like-cheek turned red. I waited for an answer.

Then she said “ I do, Firdaus”. It feels relieve to hear her answer, then she hug me. We made a promise, after the graduation day we will be married.
I wished happiness could be remain. But fate has it own plan for each of our life. The next day at the university, I hang out with my friend at the cafeteria. “ Hey Firdaus. You looked exhausted. Mind to share with me anything?” Amri asked.
“Nah, it’s nothing. It’s just my old habit, always looked like that. Well, how were you doing lately?” I replied.

“ Well, something extraordinary happened today. Early in the morning, I found a love letter on my table and it is from Adlina. I shocked at first,” he continued. What? Adlina? How can this be. There must be something wrong. I asked him to look at the letter and it’s totally from her. I lost my mind. My soul flew away. Tears wrapped and covered my happiness. I tried to find my words and said “ good to hear that. You are my friend and I always hope for you to be happy.”
And he replied , “thanks.” Then I makes my move and tried to figured out what I should do. Should I face her? Or just walk away from her? Then I Have made my decision. I know Amri also like Adlina, but still not even more than I do.
I keep walking without destination. I don’t even know what else to do. My step stop as Adlina appeared in front of me.

“Where have you been? I thought I had told you,” Alin asked.I tried to keep walking, ignore her there. “ Firdaus, are you listening?” she continued. I turned around and for an instant I looked into her eyes. I love her but I wasn’t meant for her.
“I know everything, and understood it very well. You can be with Amri and I will never be the obstacle anymore. Just one wish from me, keep yourself in happiness and always place your smile at your beautiful face, dear,” I said.

“ But why?” she asked.
“ I love someone else. That’s all,” I replied. She fell down to earth and started crying.

“ You were lying,” I heard she mumbling with herself. I wanted to comfort her, but since earlier she was not mine. Then, I step away and left her there.

Since that day, I see her nowhere. I tried to forget her, but she was my first love and only her be the last. I kept tight her memory because it will accompany me during my darkness. Summer had fade away, and tonight will be the last day of holiday. And tomorrow will be the big day, the graduation day. but it mean nothing without Alin by my side. I’m in horror.

Tonight, here again I sit on the bench at the park where the memory begin. Moonlight felt pity seeing my emotion and stars is crying for my sadness. I am alone again. I took my pen out from my pocket and start to write some poem. Suddenly, someone grabs my pen from my hand.

“How could you, Firdaus. Why don’t you ask me first?” suddenly Alin appears in front of me. I am speechless, for a long time we never met. And somehow I am missing her.

“ Luckily Amri told me all about the letter. For your info, it was for you actually but I’d put it on the wrong table,” Alin explained all the things up. Somehow I feel so happy but Amri like her too.

“But I have someone else. And Amri like you. It’s better for you to be with him,” I continued. For a while, she laugh. I don’t really understand why.

“ I already know everything, dear. You just made up the story to keep away from me, Amri told me that too. And I believe there will be no one you love beside me, am I right?” she replied. I was numb, there’s nothing I can talk anymore.

“Yes, it’s my fault. I am sorry. I want you to be happy and get the best for your life,” I continued. She silent for a while, then replied.

“ I am always happy by your side and for me you are the best, dear.” Then with tears flow down her cheek, she hugged me. “ I miss you. In every single minutes I think about you. Please don’t leave me anymore and just stay the way you are, dear ,” she said.

“I am sorry. I promise will always be with you. And I kiss you too, Alin.”

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“ And now, the best student award goes to…………..” the hall silent as they waiting for the answer. “Mohd Firdaus Bin Ramlee, please step ahead.” It is un believable, the crowd clap as my name was announce up the stage. I walked to the stage and from the stage I can see Adlina waving at me down there. I smiled at her. I receive my certificate and the speaker asked me to deliver some speech.

“Thank you for giving me a chance to talk on this stage. Assalamualaikum to the audience. First of all, I want to thank my family for support me, my friend and university department. As for her, the one who always with me, never give up on me and someone that always inspired me do something.” The audiences looked interested to hear my speech. I tried to continue.
“Once, I made my promise to her. And it’s time to fulfilled it.” They waited and I chuckled excitedly.

“Adlina, witnessed by all the people here, I engraved my heart with your name forever. For my eternity life, will you be my pride?” I said. Then she stood up at her place.
“ I always do.”